How to tell who makes good decisions, victim decisions, concerning decisions and abuser decisions.
To err is human. What we do next is what matters.
‘Good People: make the best reasonable* choice for all, which includes themself.
Good people recognise they can make mistakes,
learn & grow from them, decreasing future mistakes & harm.
‘Victims’: makes the best choice for others,
often sacrificing & harming their own needs.
Victim’s keep prioritising Abusers, while the Abusers
maximise uncertainty to discourage Victim’s learning.
‘Concerning People’: make indifferent selfish choices,
often resulting in collateral harm.
Concerning People rarely show growth.
‘Abusers’: makes selfish hurtful choices.
Abusers won’t change, since harm was the point.
* Reasonable: Best available known option, within reasonable
resources, for the currently known situation.
– Finding more options & resources later is part of
learning & growing, not an indication of concern.
– Lack of growth on reasonable evidence of harm is concerning.
