Mental Health Counselling
Change is hard, takes work and may not work the way you want it to. This is why most people try not to make changes.
This can lead to some of the common traits of denial, bargaining and anger rather than making the necesarry changes to meet the situation.
People will invest a great deal of effort into not making changes that will help their lives.
“When faced with the need to either change or prove that change isn’t necessary, most people get busy with the proof” – John Galbraith
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, life happens and all that we can do is hold on until the ride is over. It may seem scary and that we can’t possibly survive, but we will and do. This feeling is called the Trauma Coaster.
Trauma Coaster: Recognising that you are in for a wild ride, that there is very little you can do about it, but you’ll be okay in the end
Some people say mean things, and when they get chastised for it, will say it is a joke. But it is what they mean.
Schrödinger‘s Douchebag: A person who says offensive things and decides whether they were joking based upon the reaction of people around them
The question you should be asking is – do they mean this because:
Another question that is good to ask is – what are you going to do about it? Some good options are:
Your choice may depend on your energy levels and safety.
Frequently people are told they are good or bad, and sometimes the people doinng the telling have good intention and are wrong, have bad intentions and are wrong, or may actually be right. There is a signficiant loss of power when we let someone else tell us if we are good or bad – we need a quick method to do an internal check.
Here is my 5 finger test for if you are “Good”.
If you got “good” on all 5, then you are a good person
If you got “no” on 1 or more, you have some work to do
