I was having some thoughts on the way to work this morning, centreing around “who am I while I’m in a therapist in session?” and the answer to that was both simple and complicated.
“I am who my client needs me to be, so long as I am genuinely me.”
Sometimes I need to be someone who challenges my clients view, so that they can gain perspective and decide if this view they have is still the view that is valid.
Sometimes I need to be the patient listener for their vent, giving them time in a safe space to say whatever they need, with as much emotion as they need, to get it off their chest so they can start to move on.
Sometimes I need to be a co-explorer, helping them figure out what is going on, asking questions, adding tit bits, pointing out inconsistencies and describing patterns.
Sometimes I need to be a teacher, teaching skills and adding knowledge so that people can make wiser decisions.
Sometimes I need to be that friendly ally who gives a simple (but not simplistic) answer to a complex question, or a few alternative paths to the future and ask what would happen.
Sometimes I need to be a person that says “That’s awful. Now what?”
Sometimes I need to be a person that validates a good action, constructively critiques an action, or challenges that an action was not helpful in a list of ways.
Sometimes I need to point out what is “average”, “acceptable”, “fair in this circumstance because…” and “right out”. Many of my clients have grown up in weird households where “right” and “wrong” were not well defined and rules were always focused around unfair moving goalposts.
Sometimes I need to be raw and affected.
Sometimes I need to be calm and hopeful.
Never should I compromise my core values and the principles of my job – that is, I need to be true to me when I am a therapist, and I need to ensure that I am the therapist that my clients needs.
I need to be the genuine me behind all of these version of therapist.